The Bitterness Blog

Office Gossip is Good Times…Until It’s About You
March 6, 2009, 10:20 pm
Filed under: Work Bitching

People at my office love to talk about each other, which I suspect is the case at most workplaces.  Gossip makes the world go round, because when your boss is breathing down your throat and the woman in the cube next to you has been chattering all day long on personal calls while forgetting to speak in her indoor voice, sometimes a smoke break and a chat about the girl in accounting with a not-so-secret spanking fetish is the only way to preserve your sanity.  I understand the inevitability of office gossip and the cathartic purpose it serves for people, and I have been known to partake in it myself.  What sucks is finding out that what’s hot off the presses is an unflattering rumor about you.



It has come to my attention that the good word in the cubicles is that I am sleeping with the CEO. Now it should be noted that I am young, unmarried, and not hunch-backed, and there are startlingly few females in that bracket working in our building, so it’s not surprising for any one of us to be linked to a single male co-worker.  If I breathe in the direction of an eligible male, I see the gossip-antennas go up around me.  I accept this, and it doesn’t really bother me.  Our CEO is a divorced father of two, and although his daughter is closer to my age than he is, he is a personable, intelligent, and fair man, whom I respect a great deal.  Nonetheless, I am deeply insulted.

z2If I were the big boss’ mistress, would I still be transferring everybody’s phone calls, sorting their faxes, and giving them directions to the conference room where their weekly meeting is held? I don’t fucking think so.  If I were banging the man upstairs then I would have him by the balls, and trust me, I would be making some serious demands.  My discretion would have a price, and it would be high.  The first order of business would be giving me a new position that fell higher on the company totem pole than indentured servant, because if I am sleeping my way to the top, shouldn’t I be somewhere even remotely in walking distance of it?  Like, not at the bottom?  It’s one thing to deem a girl capable of trading sexual favors for career advancement, but it’s a whole other thing to accuse her of being easy AND cheap.  It hurts.


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