The Bitterness Blog


License Plate of the Day
September 2, 2009, 9:03 pm
Filed under: License Plate of the Day

licenseplateswimnaked

It’s really all about whose driving with this one.  You can’t have a true reaction without being fully informed. 

I think we can agree that it is supposed to be short for “swim naked.”  I purposely included the various bumper stickers in the picture because they illustrate a pretty strong dedication to the cause.  This guy isn’t just some college kid who thought it would be funny to have a license plate that advocated skinny-dipping; this is a through and through nudist.  This guy is not fucking around.  I’m pretty sure if this guy could get a job that allowed him to be nude all day, he would do it, if he hasn’t already.

Which brings me back around to the question of who this guy is, and I don’t have an answer for that.  I was behind him in traffic so I could only see an outline of his head.  I really can’t even say for sure that it was a man.  But the thing about nudist beaches and nudist colonies and the like is that the idea seems kind of cool when you imagine that these places are populated by extremely good looking people.  If Bradley Cooper and Alexander Skarsgard want to live their lives in the buff, I have no objections to that.  But you always hear that in real life, nudist beaches are filled with 50 year old men with flabby butts, and that kind of kills the dream.  I have never been to a nudist beach, nor have I met anyone that has,  so I can’t speak to the accuracy of that disturbing rumor.

I do, however, know someone who knows a guy who swings.  Him and his wife are swingers, and they go to these swinger parties where swingers mingle and pick people to swing with.  It all sounds like a pretty cool party unless you’ve met this guy.  You know that short-lived tv show Swingtown, with Grant Show from the original Melrose Place?  This guy is no Grant Show.  This guy is more like a larger, less attractive, dirtier, not-funny version of Jack Black.  I’ve never seen his wife but I hear they are well-matched.  He claims that they hook up with really hot people, but frankly, that’s got to be bullshit. 

So the driver of this vehicle may be an A. Skars doppleganger, in which case, if I see this car again I’m going to follow him home and try to get an invitation to the party.  Or he could be a card-carrying member of the swingers group attended by the friend of my friend, in which case, that “nude recreation” bumper sticker kind of takes on a whole new meaning.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Oh god. Less attractive, not-funny version of Jack Black? Vom.

Comment by Laza

HA funny. I know this swinger gross. Although I used to frequent a nude beach in Miami. Lots of old, ugly, flabby males. However several times Buddha heard my prayer and he’d grace me with some hot ass to look at. I was pleased.

Comment by Steph




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