The Bitterness Blog

Blow(dry) Me
September 21, 2009, 7:53 pm
Filed under: Musings of a Random Nature

Sometimes I think about all the amazing things technology allows us to do, like blog, mapquest, and download music illegally.  On tv last night they had some super crazy futuristic robot shit that hooked up to an amputee’s former arm (I’m not sure what the politically correct way to talk about stumps is) and he was able to move the robotic arm by thinking about moving the arm.  Seriously.  Science is amazing, right?

So why is it that science can’t create a public restroom hand dryer that doesn’t suck balls?  I find it to be extremely annoying when restrooms have hand dryers, because they almost never actually dry your hands.  I was at the movies recently and I’m fairly certain that the hand dryer was such an epic fail that my hands actually got wetter as I used it.  I suppose my hands probably would have dried eventually if I stood there long enough, but I’m not sure if it would have been from the dryer or because the water finally naturally evaporated.

Am I missing something here?

Am I missing something here?

In all my hand dryer experiences, I have only found one that actually works pretty well, which happens to also be at a movie theater.  It does dry your hands, but it leaves them with this slightly slimy feeling.  It’s hard to put a finger on the problem (I punned) but your hands just don’t feel clean after using it, even if they are no longer wet.  I guess it could also be a result of the soap though.  Hard to tell.  But it’s a powerful dryer for sure, and it does that weird thing where it ripples  your skin when your hands are under it and gives you a disturbing preview of your own old age.  So the price of dry hands is a terrifying preview of your impending mortality and t’s the exception to the rule, because other hand dryers SUCK.

I know a lot of people agree with me on this, so why is it that so many places use them?  If I were in charge of making the hand dryer vs. paper towels decision for a public restroom, I’d be like, “well, everyone on the planet thinks hand dryers suck, so let’s go with the towels,” but clearly this isn’t happening at a lot of places.  One of the arguments in favor of hand dryers is that they are better for the environment because they don’t waste paper, but I don’t care about the environment, and I suspect that it’s cheaper to pay a one time cost for the hand dryer than to buy a towel dispenser and keep restocking it, so companies just make the cheaper decision, once again sacrificing the comfort of the customer for their own corporate greed.  It’s a tale as old as time.

I have heard people say that these Dyson hand dryers work really well, and Dyson seems to know what they are doing in general, but their products are also expensive, so that’s probably why I’ve never seen these anywhere:


Also, if I did see one of these, I’d frankly be a little afraid to use it.  It has potential to be some sort of Saw-esque torture device that would lop off both my hands because I was vain enough to care about something stupid like dry hands instead of appreciating my life and looking past the superficial. 

I can live with the wet hands after all.

I can live with the wet hands after all.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You know why I’m afraid of the Dyson?
Germs. I’m too OCD for that crap.

Comment by Steph

I used one of those at the Long Beach airport. It was awesome, but I definitely had a pause where I thought to myself, is my hand going to come back out of this thing? They did and they were completely dry. It was spectacular.

Comment by Laza

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