The Bitterness Blog


Something Fishy
October 22, 2009, 3:16 pm
Filed under: Work Bitching

This morning I got off the elevator and immediately my nose detected a questionable odor.  I’m not super sensitive to smell–I’m the person who never smells whatever it is other people are complaining about (which might lead you to believe that I’m responsible for said bad odor, and good god I hope that’s not the case).  Anyways, whenever I smell something rank my first instinct is to check myself.  The body is an amazing and beautiful machine but sometimes it produces smells of putrefication and death.  I walked through the lobby doors and still smelled the smell, which made me even more concerned, because if the bad smell follows you, it’s probably….you.  I remained concerned until I entered the kitchen and noticed the smell was concentrated there and clearly emanating from the microwave.  About an hour later I found out that some jackass had cooked fish in the microwave.

You read that correctly.  Fish.  In the microwave.  A community microwave.  In an office.  Where people have to pretend to work for 8 hours.

Have people no sense of decency?  Whatever happened to office ettiquette?  You don’t cook shit like that in an office microwave.  That isn’t one of those dishes where 99% of the population isn’t offended but one person goes batshit over the smell and makes a big deal about nothing.  There is no one on the face of the planet that likes that fucking smell.  NO ONE.

The best part is that since I’m the “Facilities Coordinator,” people started coming to me asking me to fix it.  WTF am I supposed to do about it?  It’s too late.  I don’t have a time machine.  What’s done is done.  Eventually the smell will start to dissipate and/or people will start to get used to it and forget it’s there.  But it’s literally on the entire floor.  What am I expected to do, whip out my perfume bottle and take a leisurely stroll through the floor, spritzing along the way?  I have a nose.  If there was something I could do about this, wouldn’t I already be doing it? 

Also, it’s making me really think about personal odor.  You know how they say if you’re truly crazy, you don’t even know you’re crazy?  So if you stink really bad, do you not even know it?  Cause I feel like there are times when I go out drinking and sleep 14 hours the next day and when I wake up, I am WELL AWARE of my need to bathe.  I feel like if/when I smell bad, I know it.  I would know, right?  Right?!?

This happened at 8am.  Breakfast?  Who the fuck has microwave fish for breakfast?

This happened at 8am. Breakfast? Who the fuck has microwave fish for breakfast?

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