Guess what? The endless days of sleeping, eating, and watching Wife Swap have come to an end for me, at least temporarily, because I have rejoined the world of 9-5ers. I’m working a temp job, replacing someone out on maternity leave, and as you can imagine, I am super excited about it.
You probably thought that since I’ve been bitching and moaning for months about being unemployed I would be overjoyed to get a job, even a temporary one. And you wouldn’t be entirely wrong. I am happy to get out of the house and to be bringing in more change than the measly stipend I was getting from the local government. I am, however, unhappy to be getting up when it’s still dark out and unhappy to be sitting in rush hour traffic twice a day. And most of all, I’m reminded of how unhappy I am to have to talk to other people for 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week. But the good news is that I haven’t been here long enough to become bitter and jaded with the place and its inhabitants. I’m estimating that will occur some time next week.
Until then, I thought I’d share a little conversation that took place between my father and I last night. We were watching the Caps game (Caps won 7-3, FYI) and for some reason my dad is a bit fixated on one of the local Caps newscaster, Lisa Hilary. I don’t mean fixated on her as in, finds her attractive. Rather, at a recent game, as she was doing an intermission inteview with a player, my father turned to me and said, “Jesus, Lisa Hilary looks old. How old do you think she is?” Apparently, Dad feels female newscasters should be a tad more youthful, and as he eloquently pointed out, Lisa Hilary is “no spring chicken.” This led to a discussion during last night’s game about whether or not any of the Caps are boinking Lisa Hilary. We figured we could cross the young Caps players off the possibilities list because they can easily snatch themselves some young poontang. My father suggested the oldest guy on the team, who is 37, but who I pointed out is also married, to which my father replied that married doesn’t mean faithful. (And don’ t you wish you were my mom right now?) While married might not mean faithful, I feel that old, married, and gainfully employed translates into lacking sufficient time and energy to have a scandalous player/newscaster affair. My father’s reply:
“Just because there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there isn’t fire in the furnance.”
And that sound you hear is me crying on the inside.
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