Filed under: Musings of a Random Nature
While watching the hockey game the other night on tv my dad was doing his usual bit of harassing me via making fun of my favorite Caps player, Alex Semin. A caller on a post-game radio show once referred to Semin as a “PR Nightmare” and that phrase was seared into my father’s brain and vocabulary instantaneously. It was one of those moments where, as soon as the words came over the radio airwaves, I knew it would be something I would hear oft-repeated by my father for the rest of my natural life. And there is some legitimacy to it because Semin pretends not to speak English (he’s Russian), never does any interviews, and is generally surly during forced (and rare) public appearances. I still love him with the fire of a thousands suns, so fuck the haters. Anyhoo.
So during the game my dad was harassing me about Semin as per usual and telling me how if I were smart, I would set my romantic dreams of being a kept hockey woman on Nick Backstrom, another player on the team. Last year I didn’t think Backstrom was cute, but then I saw him in person at a function and he’s clearly one of those people who looks much better in person than in pictures and on tv, and to top it all off, he was uber polite and gentlemanly. I reminded my dad that I do enjoy some Nick Backstrom, and that in fact, I think he is growing on me over time even more and quickly moving up the fantasy hockey boyfriend ranks. My dad was pleased and said that was a good call. Unfortunately, Backstrom is only 22 years and I am…not, which I pointed out to my father. His response?
“That’s okay. Backstrom is Swedish. They’re experimental.”
I’m not sure which I’m more flummoxed by, the idea that a relationship with a woman who is older by years that can be counted on one hand is experimental, or the impression my dad has that Swedish people are sexually experimental. Or perhaps simply that he said that out loud. To his only daughter. And meant it.
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