The Bitterness Blog

Leave the kid with me. Then he’ll learn what life is really like.
May 10, 2010, 7:12 pm
Filed under: Work Bitching

A couple of weeks ago was National Take Your Sons and Daughters to Work Day.  I feel like I really don’t even need to write about this, because I think it goes without saying how I felt about it.  I don’t care if it’s a nationally sanctioned day or not; unless you work in childcare, I don’t want to see your kid at work.  (And if I am working in child care, go ahead and prepare for the End of Days because hell has officially frozen over and it’s all going downhill from that point.)

Now, when I was a kid, the idea behind taking your kid to work on take your kid to work day was to show your child what mommy or daddy does to bring home the bacon, and to illustrate the concept that money doesn’t grow on trees and your parents have to actually do something day in and day out to keep you stocked up on food, shelter, and toys.  It was supposed to be interesting in that you were getting to see your parents in a way and in an environment that you never really have access to otherwise, but it wasn’t exactly fun unless your parents happened to do something insanely cool for a living.  But I’m old, and apparently times have changed, because National Take Your Kid to Work Day was a fucking circus at my temp job.

Instead of the kids following their parents around and seeing what they actually do at their jobs, the kids were put into groups and did activities all day long, such as, an informative trip to the Apple Store and a gymnastics hour.  Topper Shutt, a local weatherman, came and did a presentation on meterology, which would make sense if the place I’m temping at had anything even remotely to do with that field of study, but it doesn’t.  Also, on a side note, Topper is insanely short.  Like, 5’5, tops.  The kids all got goodie bags to take home, including a CD of their adventures that day and a certificate (acknowledging that they learned what, I don’t know).  A shit ton of money was spent on the goodie bags and all kinds of food for the kids, and besides my general dislike of children, it just seems to me that entertaining the kids all day isn’t really in line with the original intent of the day.  However, on the official website for Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, Barbie is the sponsor, so…yeah.  Perhaps there is some evil genius in convincing kids that work is a place where you go everyday to be entertained and fed, because maybe they will operate under that illusion happily until they actually get a job and be excited to get one because they have high hopes for how fun it will be.  But it’s just delaying the inevitable letdown that 90% of Americans experience when they realize that unless you are lucky enough to get  your dream job and get paid well for it, work bites.

But you know something that made work bite even more than usual for me that day?  The presence of swarming children.  They were INSANELY loud.  I would be standing waiting for the elevator, no kids in sight, but I could hear the sounds of their shrills.  They were like termites; it was coming through the walls.  Also, I got on an elevator once after a group of them stepped out and it smelled like fart.  Then the elevator stopped on the next floor with only me on it, so the people coming on probably thought I was the one that farted.

Fucking kids.

Don't be fooled. They may look cute, but they're loud and they smell.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

At least the kids at your company were doing SOMETHING. A father (you know him) brought his two very well-behaved daughters with him to the office. They were quiet to the point that you didn’t even know they were there unless you walked to the dark far corner of the office and saw them huddled there…alone…all day! I was completely befuddled! I felt bad for them…imagine that! 😉

Comment by Michelle

I have always hated that day. I dread it every single time. Thank God no one brought their kid in this year. You know how I feel about kids too, haha, the feeling is mutual. Love this post.

Comment by Missy

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